‘Real Housewives’ astrology
Like many other college-educated, workaday women we’ve become shamefully addicted to “The Real Housewives” series on Bravo. We’ve raced to the computer to discover what sign of woman would allow her husband to sport a banana hammock to a Hampton’s beach. Alex McCord, is, for that matter a Libra. So is Gwyneth Paltrow, so we’ll chalk it up to that sign’s obsession with Euro culture. We haven’t fully verified Simon Van Kempen but we believe he’s a Pisces. If this is the case, squelch all rumors of him being gay. Pisces invented metrosexualism.
We also know that:
Bethenny Frankel is a Scorpio. She doesn’t like people touching her or prying in her business. She’s got razor sharp intuition and is highly driven. She’s got that stinger too, so don’t cross her. She’s full of classic barbs like referring to Luann as “The Dis-Countess.” Good one.
Jill Zarin is a Sagittarius: known for their tactlessness, the fabric queen is always blurting out other people’s business. She’s also an idealist who does a ton of charity work. Sagittarius rolls in a multicultural/multi-everything crew and her BFFs are an African-American woman and her gay husband. We love her!
Still dying to discover the signs of the wild-eyed Ramona, the Countess, and the entire Atlanta season. Nene–call us!
As for Orange County, Vicky hosted a party where an astrologer visited and we were in heaven. Here’s what was revealed:
Jeana: Virgo–hello codependent?
Lori: Scorpio
Vicki: Aries–no wonder she’s so wild and blunt!
Tami: Leo
