Hate to say it, but…we told you so. In our February 27th post about the couple’s Oscar date, we speculated Splitsville was a’comin. Today, their breakup became official.

Charming as the Libra man can be, he often takes years to commit. John Mayer is every bit the late-blooming Libra bachelor. Sure, he got to act like a giddy schoolgirl escorting Jen down the red carpet. But it’s all just novelty for this guy. Aniston, an independent Aquarius, may have enjoyed the ego boost.  Still, it doesn’t take a psychic to see that they were at completely different stages of life (she’s 40; he’s 31). The Libra man is a terrible choice for a woman in the last of her childbearing years. You can’t rush him!

So who will come out on top? Aniston, eventually. With lucky Jupiter in her sign this year, she’s at the start of a fresh 12-year cycle. Our advice: start looking for validation from within—not from dating an immature rock star.  Hey, Jen! Call us—we’d love to give you a reading.

Tweet This Post

Tune in, friends! Tonight at 7:30 and midnight EST, we’ll be on E! “The Daily 10.” We stopped by Live! on Sunset in West Hollywood to dish with host Catt Sadler about celebrity forecasts. Find out what’s in the stars for your favorite stars!

Tweet This Post

Howl at the sky, it’s a full moon tonight! This month it’s in Virgo, the sign that rules health and service. It’s a great time to start working off that winter weight. Guard against germs as the seasons change, and be careful not to overtax yourself. Virgo is a bit neurotic, so you could find yourself unusually anxious or stressed. Make a to-do list and get all those worries out of your head. This is a hygienic sign, too, so start your Spring cleaning now.

Virgo is the zodiac’s perfectionist, and it can bring out our critical sides. With love-planet Venus in a low power “retrograde” position, you may be especially tempted to nitpick at your mate. Avoid petty squabbles or indulging in gossip that’s swirling around. Use the burst of lunar energy for a good cause: go online and donate $25 to Kiva.org, a microlender that supports women’s businesses in developing countries. Pets are ruled by Virgo, so volunteer at a shelter, adopt a furry friend or curl up with your own beloved critter. Check our weekly horoscope for more details!

Tweet This Post

Our book, soaking up the sun and lovin’ vibes in Maui!

File it under “Go Ahead, Make Our Day.” We squealed with delight when Pisces-Cancer sweethearts Chad and Tim sent us this photo from their 1-year anniversary trip to the Ka’anapali Coast of Maui. We first spoke to Chad a little over a year ago, when he called into our SIRIUS Radio monthly guest hour on “The Larry Flick Show.”

Chad asked about his love life and we suggested he try a long-distance relationship. Coincidentally, he’d just met Tim, a New York City publishing executive (Chad lives in Chicago). With the stars affirming what his heart already knew, Chad pursued their connection, miles be damned. As compatible Water signs, they clicked!  This year, Tim came to our NYC Borders event to get a signed copy of Love Zodiac. The happy couple spent their flight to Hawaii reading it. Ah, bliss.

We love when people take our advice and find true love! Now, if only we could get to Maui in person next time…

So take a page from Chad & Tim — let us be your astro-yentas! Call us live the first Mondays of every month from 10-11 a.m. on SIRIUS channel 109. Tune in (you can download the free player from sirius.com) and you’ll get the call number. Here’s to many more, Chad & Tim!

Tweet This Post

Sigh. It’s the first of what we expect to be many Venus retrograde breakups, shakeups and makeups among the rich and famous. Comic Sarah Silverman and late-night host Jimmy Kimmel have split again. On March 6, we reported that Venus, the planet of love, took a retrograde (backward) spin until April 17. This cycle, which occurs every 2 years, is a time when people reevaluate their relationships.

No surprise that Sarah Silverman, a Sagittarius, initiated the breakup. Venus is retrotrade in Sarah’s fifth house of romance, making her sign especially susceptible to this Venus spell. Retrogrades can also bring back people from our past, albeit often for only a short cycle. Silverman may be f***ing Matt Damon (or someone else), but just wait and see. Kimmel, who just bought a house and is reportedly “bummed,” should lay low until April 17th. The pair may reunite on stronger ground than ever after this cosmic trial.

Tweet This Post

Like many other college-educated, workaday women we’ve become shamefully addicted to “The Real Housewives” series on Bravo. We’ve raced to the computer to discover what sign of woman would allow her husband to sport a banana hammock to a Hampton’s beach. Alex McCord, is, for that matter a Libra. So is Gwyneth Paltrow, so we’ll chalk it up to that sign’s obsession with Euro culture. We haven’t fully verified Simon Van Kempen but we believe he’s a Pisces. If this is the case, squelch all rumors of him being gay. Pisces invented metrosexualism.

We also know that:
Bethenny Frankel is a Scorpio. She doesn’t like people touching her or prying in her business. She’s got razor sharp intuition and is highly driven. She’s got that stinger too, so don’t cross her. She’s full of classic barbs like referring to Luann as “The Dis-Countess.” Good one.

Jill Zarin is a Sagittarius: known for their tactlessness, the fabric queen is always blurting out other people’s business. She’s also an idealist who does a ton of charity work. Sagittarius rolls in a multicultural/multi-everything crew and her BFFs are an African-American woman and her gay husband. We love her!

Still dying to discover the signs of the wild-eyed Ramona, the Countess, and the entire Atlanta season. Nene–call us!

As for Orange County, Vicky hosted a party where an astrologer visited and we were in heaven. Here’s what was revealed:
Jeana: Virgo–hello codependent?
Lori: Scorpio
Vicki: Aries–no wonder she’s so wild and blunt!
Tami: Leo

Tweet This Post

Loveplanet Venus goes retrograde today in Aries, a phase that will last until April 17. Technical translation? When a planet passes the Earth in its orbit, it’s almost like two trains passing at different speeds. An illusion happens whereby one appears to be moving backwards. So now, Venus will be inching its way past Planet Earth. Our loves lives will be affected by this trend for better or for worse. Unresolved issues, hidden agendas and emotional blocks will be revealed. A pretty sight to see? Not necessarily, but it’s time to deal with reality. Those who dive into their issues with a warrior’s spirit will be greatly rewarded on April 17. Here are a few tips for surviving the retrograde:

DO hold the phone. Exes tend to come out of the woodwork during Venus retrograde. Let those “Blocked Caller ID” dialers go straight to voicemail. This is a time when you’ll want to screen to avoid being caught off guard.

DO cool your jets, honey. Tempers can run high with Venus in fiery Aries. If you have something to hash out with a person from your past, you may want to vent to a third party first to avoid a major blowout.

DO Monitor your inner diva. Venus in Aries can make us all a little self-centered. Expecting your significant other to give you what you want, when you want it (or else!) is a highly unattractive trait that we may all fall prey to.

DON’T rush to turn a hot and spicy affair into a full-on relationship. Aries makes us a bit impulsive, but the retrograde could cloud our better judgment. Self-control will be tough, but try to pace yourself. Physical attraction alone won’t carry the day after April 17.

DON’T expect your partner to be your everything. Aries teaches us the brilliant lesson of self-containment. Work on feeling whole–and bring this spirit to the relationship. Face any fears of spending time alone. If you don’t love yourself, you’ll never be able to let someone else all the way into your heart.

Tweet This Post

Scandal! Heartbreak! Deceit! All on national TV. Jason Mesnick of The Bachelor made headlines this week when he publicly dumped winner Melissa Rycroft for runner-up Molly Malaney. What happened?

Mesnick, a Cancer born July 5th, seemed like such a nice feller. And aren’t Cancers supposed to be the nicest guys on the planet? Yes…and no. Cancer is the sign that rules women. And oh, does the Cancer man love the ladies. He can’t get enough female energy, and can often be found surrounded by his personal p***y posse. Do we believe he could fall in love with two (or more) women at once? Yes! He’s sensitive enough to feel the nuances that make each woman beautiful in her own right. And the Cancer man always goes with his gut.

Still, as much as Mesnick defends his choice, he probably won’t get love from the public. A scandal or two could be in the stars for Cancers this year, with Jupiter in their private eighth house. Already, 2009’s tabloids have been dominated by Cancers, from “Octo-Mom” Nadya Suleman to Jessica Simpson and her unflattering “mom jeans.” All three need to take a cue from the stars: less is more. Turn off the cameras and live your life. Stop trying to explain your personal decisions on TV. Courting the press will only make you look worse. Make like a Crab and get back under your shell.[ad]

Tweet This Post

Ugh. Wish we didn’t have to say “we told you so,” but it’s true. In an earlier post, we predicted that Pisces Rihanna would get back together with her Taurus boyfriend Chris Brown, in spite of the shocking violence that made headlines a couple weeks ago. As we said, Pisces women are easily manipulated by sweet-talking and guilt, and they’re susceptible to confusion in their love lives. Seeing the whole picture clearly isn’t easy for this sign—especially not when a strong Taurus comes along.

Let’s hope that Chris brown deals with his issues rather than taking them out on her. With love-planet Venus going retrograde (backward) in his twelfth house of trouble from March 6-April 17, he could be in for some big-time karma. Venus will take a backward spin in Rihanna’s self-confidence sector, so let’s hope she’s got enough support around her to remember that violence against women is never okay.

Tweet This Post

Is it any surprise that the man whose famous lines included “One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish” would be born under the sign of Pisces? Imagination is one of his sign’s specialties. We especially love Google’s adaptation of its logo in honor of the legendary storyteller!

Tweet This Post