Raise your hand if your brain has been spiraling out of control for the past couple weeks.

Anxieties–both real and imagined–have been prevalent amongst our friends and clients lately. Who HASN’T been obsessing? Often for no logical reason at all. Relief is on it’s way, but first let us explain…

We point the cosmic finger of blame to communication planet Mercury, which has been retrograding (appearing to move backwards) through Virgo since September 19th.  Virgo, by nature, can be fretful, obsessive, perfectionist, and more critical than Simon Cowell in the face of a “pitchy,” poorly styled, wannabe singer.  Fears snowballed into avalanches. Thoughts spiraled into obsessions.

Compounding the effect was challenging Saturn in Virgo, which was traveling within three degrees of Mercury retrograde since the 19th as well. Many of us were faced with legitimate, life-altering choices. Should I stay or should I go? That question may still be swilling through our psyches..

Before you hop a flight to South Pacific or check yourself into that “Girl Interrupted” psych ward, take a deep breath. Today, Mercury returns to its direct (forward) motion, clarifying our mental processes. It will be orbiting through Virgo until October 11th giving us a chance to sort through the rubble, have transcendental energetic shifts, enlightened breakthroughs, and basically fall back in love with anyone who’s meant to remain in our inner circles.

Step one: look for the positive in the situation. The glass really is half-full, and possibly even spilling over with possibilities.

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Are you in a SERIOUS relationship? Like, seriously? With this week’s planetary mix of Virgo & Libra, the world is abuzz with talks of “the next level” of romantic connections that we see for our lives.

The idea of a SERIOUS relationship sounds both tantalizing and ominous to the average lusty lady or gent. On the one hand, there’s the security of commitment. On the other, is the suffocating weight of its gravitas.” My days of LBDs, dress-up dinner dates, and scorchingly sexy gropefests outside the restaurant are officially numbered…NOT!

Rushing in for the save is the Libra Sun which began lighting up the skies on September 22nd or 23rd (depending upon what part of the globe you reside). It will continue to sparkle there for a full month, helping us balance playful passion with conscious commitment. This is never an easy tightrope to walk, (cue in Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim Zolciak singing, “There’s a tightrope…between me and you…” Oops, we digress!). Especially since fashionable Libra demands that we teeter on proverbial ten-inch Jimmy Choos as we walk this line.

Our advice to you for the weekend warmup: book plans in advance. Break out the cultural guides, kick it up a notch on the Fancyshmancy-O-Meter. If your idea of a good time is well drinks at the local pub, push it to rooftop cocktails at the Asian Art Museum. Turn your book club meeting into a themed potluck and challenge your visitors to cook with local ingredients. Libra can be a bit of an English Rose in terms of her cultural standards. Take the challenge! Embrace your inner cultural snob.

You’ll need to practice anyway. On October 29/30, taskmaster Saturn will exit Virgo (where its been hanging since August 2007) and move on into Libra until October 6, 2012. That means three years of learning lessons, the Libra way. Can you say, “Charm School?” Fortunately, Saturn is “exalted” in Libra, which, in English means that Libra is Saturn’s happiest, most powerful home in all of the zodiac. Unlike other Saturn phases–which were grueling, taxing, and a$$kicking to say the least–this one brings a flurry of shiny gold stars with each accomplishment we push through.

Those accomplishments may include:

- Pulling the trigger on a commitment that’s been flatlining for years: time to figure out if you’re in or out!

- Finally parting with that natty old sweater and raising the hemline of your dress to an inch below slutty.

- Forming an official partnership with an attractive opposite: marriages, businesses, joint property.

- Hiring an attorney to work out the terms of above partnership. We’ve heard Judge Judy say it a thousand times, “the girl who represents herself in court has a fool for a client.”

More on Saturn in Libra to come as October inches along. For now, just try squeezing your honey a little tighter (and a lot lower than his around his neck).

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Our guilty-pleasure fix of reality TV is always accompanied by star sign speculation, followed by mad dashes to our laptops to Google the likes of Nene Leakes, Tim Gunn, Lisa Wu Hartwell, Patti Stanger and other favorites. The info is usually unearthed with a quick click to wikipedia or imdb.com, but in the case of The Real Housewives of Atlanta series, some serious digging (nay cyberstalking) has been required.

For the record we DID call their publicist at Bravo who crisply informed us that the Atlanta Housewives, “would prefer not to reveal the information at this time.” (Wahhh…why not?!)

We set our need for this arguably useless trivia aside…temporarily. Then, three weeks ago, Kim Zolciak & Kandi Burress went off on a self-congratulatory, Taurus-bonding fest upon discovering that they shared the same birth sign. Our obsession was reawakened!

Kandi as a Taurus? Yeah, makes sense. She’s hardworking, family-oriented to a fault, modest in values, religious, a talented singer… Kim appears to be the polar opposite: hiring a nanny (although she’s unemployed), going on $3,000 shopping sprees for her daughter, tarting it up in Dior at noontime with an ever-present glass of Chardonnay spilling from her grasp. Note to all Taurus readers: this is what can happen if you let your Venus-ruled desires go unchecked. Can you say, “Chapter 11?”

Other as-yet unconfirmed zodiac finds about the Atlanta Housewives:
Lisa Wu Hartwell: her MySpace page lists her as an Aquarius which makes total sense given the Uranian flashes of temper and the entrepreneurial drive to conquer multiple industries at once.

Sheree Whitfield: Found! An online invitation to celebrate her birthday on January 7th (www.tinyurl.com/shereewhit). If true, this would place Sheree as a Capricorn. Makes total sense given her penchant for elitism and (ahem) high standards. Yes, Caps can be downright snobbish if unchecked.

Nene Leakes:  Like solving the riddle of the sphinx, we could not unearth Nene’s sign for days…and it was killin’ us! One minute she seemed like a bossy Leo, the next a maternal Cancer, the next a busybody Virgo.  So we became members of Nene’s fan club on MySpace–happily, since she’s our favorite Housewife of all times.  We also love that her Twisted Hearts foundation is raising money for women who are “Battered But Not Broken.”  (Looked for a link but appears she’s not yet raising funds online.) According to her MySpace fan page, Nene is a Gemini–no wonder she has so many different personas!

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There’s only so much you can do about timing, and MTV’s Video Music Awards often fall during one of the annual Mercury retrograde cycles. When Mercury goes retrograde (backward), it can throw technology and communication into a tailspin. Interestingly, Mercury is the ruler of Gemini and Virgo, the zodiac signs of Kanye West and Beyonce, respectively.

Right now, Mercury is retrograde in Libra, the planet of justice. Disputes over what’s “fair” are a common conflict. When Kanye grabbed the mic from Sagittarius Taylor Swift to object to Beyonce’s loss, was he righting a wrong? Or did classy Beyonce do that when she shared her winning moment with Swift? Judging from today’s non-stop talk, Mercury retrograde in Libra will have us all buzzing about this debate.

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