Tough week for Capricorns? Blame it on the Sun.

It’s hard out there for a Goat. At least, this month it is. The last few days have brought all manner of miserable headlines for the Capricorn childrenz of the world. Leading the pack, of course, are the Capricorn-Capricorn couple Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegen. Apparently Tiger (or is it Lion? Cheetah?) can’t keeps his nine-irons in his bag: a fifth mistress has stepped forward with more stomach-turning claims.

Following close behind the billy goats gruff…
* Capricorn songwriter Alexa Ray Joel, daughter of Billy Joel, rushed to the hospital on Saturday for an attempted suicide by drug overdose

* Shock-rocker Marilyn Manson, a Capricorn, dropped from his record label.

* Cappy actress Sienna Miller cozies up to her adulterous ex, fellow Capricorn Jude Law (while engaged in ‘06, he cheated on her with his children’s nanny)

* Jessica Alba’s husband, Capricorn Cash Warren, allegedly shares a face-mashing kiss with Lindsay Lohan. Why, God, whyyyyyyy?

* The Huffington Post publishes way unflattering pics of anchorwoman Katie Couric “letting loose” on the dance floor. Come to think of it, she’s looking like a tigress herself…

The question begs itself: WTF???? Only the stars can make sense of this one. The Sun is in Sagittarius, which rules Capricorn’s 12th house of hidden enemies, secrets, scandals and addictions. Ever notice how the month before your birthday often sucks? You’re sleepy,  cranky and stuck carrying the world’s crap on your shoulders. You wax nostalgic for the past, and start pining for the ones who knew (and hurt) you when. Karma is a bitch, and like a bad mother-in-law, she often comes to visit when the Sun is in your 12th house. We all get it once a year.

So…paging Capricorns: keep your behavior above-board. With love-planet Venus also in Sagittarius and shocking Uranus in your third house of news and communication, the headlines are only getting nastier. May we suggest making like bears (not Tigers!) and hibernating until the Sun enters Capricorn on December 21st.

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