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Pantyless photos, DUIs, prison jumpsuits...the tabloids' favorite bad girls rocked us and shocked us this year. Fast forward a few months and Nicole Richie is barefoot and pregnant, Paris Hilton carries inspirational books instead of a chihuahua, Lindsay Lohan stays on the wagon, and Britney Spears...well, that's another story.
So what's up with all the good behavior? Can a tiger really change her (prison) stripes? Here are a few of our astro-thoughts and forecasts for these paparazzi princesses in the months ahead.
Saturn Moved
from Flashy Leo into Straight-Edge Virgo
When Saturn
entered Virgo in early September, it marked a new chapter for
everyone that will last until October 2009. For the two years prior,
Saturn, the ruler of authority and the law, was in attention-hungry Leo,
ruler of parties and drama. Translation: a lot of public scandals and
Leo-fueled ego trips that ended with handcuffs and court orders. Now,
Saturn is in bookish earth-sign Virgo, a much calmer place for this planet.
The mass consciousness is shifting away from vanity and selfishness,
and moving towared saving the earth, green living, intellectual pursuits
and geek chic. (Sorry, wearing non-prescription tortoiseshell glasses
doesn't count, ladies).
Britney Spears: The Long Arm of the
Law
Sign: Sagittarius
Jupiter,
the planet of luck and gambling, has been in Britney's sign, Sagittarius,
this year. This can cause delusions of grandeur and a fierce need to
express one's independence. Case in point: Britney's head-shaving incident
and nonstop partying. Then, along came Saturn. On September 3, days
before her disastrous VMA performance, tough teacher Saturn entered Britney's
sector of career, fame and public image. Saturn rules authority figures
-- like managers and judges. Her flopped show was Saturn's
warning shot. Our advice to Britney: straighten up and
fly right, or those supervised
visitations will be the tip of the iceberg. If Brit plays by the rules,
though, Saturn will reward her with the chance to regain public favor.
She'll have to do it through hard work and consistent good behavior,
one step at a time. This is not easy for an impatient Sagittarius, a
sign that loves to indulge. Next year, Jupiter in Britney's house of
self-esteem brings an opportunity to face her demons and insecurities.
Let's hope she does.
Lindsay Lohan: Staying Sober with the Stars
Sign: Cancer
While
daddy was on lockdown, and mom Dina was inking a reality show deal featuring
her younger siblings, party-hardy Lindsay got support
from expansive Jupiter. Jupiter,
planet of luck and opportunity was in Lindsay's sixth house of health,
fitness and clean living -- helping her finally stay sober. Cancers like
Lindsay need a safe home, and perhaps rehab was where Lindsay found one..
Now, word on the street is that she's dating a guy with a bad reputation...again.
On December 18, Jupiter will enter her seventh house of committed relationships
for a year. Let's hope it helps her grow into a new type of guy. Saturn
is now in her third house of siblings and communication. She may start
projecting a more serious image -- or have to rescue her younger sibs
from "mom-ager"
hell, once they start filming their show where Dina attempts to make
them into pop stars. Help!
Nicole Richie: Starting a New Life Chapter
Sign: Virgo
Virgos
throughout the world are getting the message: it's time for a new life
chapter. Since Saturn went into Virgo on September 3, Nicole's structure-loving
sign has felt a strong urge to get life in order. It's time for Virgos
to reinvent themselves as mature beings who want to be taken seriously.
There may be some fuss and resistence along the way, as Virgo is the
"helper" sign, never truly comfortable with all the attention. On the
upside, lucky Jupiter has been in Virgo's fourth house of family and
motherhood all year, giving many Virgos baby fever. Nicole's healthy
new relationship and forthcoming motherhood are right in line with
this planetary cycle. Pisces papa Joel Madden has had Jupiter in his
committed relationship sector all year, helping him find a mate
who brings out his best self. Surprise, surprise--it seems Nicole is
ready for the real "simple life." The stars were
truly aligned for these two! Keep going -- you're on the right track.
Paris Hilton: Going Deeper...In a Different
Way
Sign: Aquarius
Fun-loving,
friendly Aquarians like Paris can be uneasy with heavy emotions and deep
soul-searching. However, with Saturn in her Scorpio-ruled eighth house
of intimacy, privacy, depth and vulnerability since September, we're
starting to see a new side of Paris. (Fellow Aquarius Justin Timberlake
is getting more publicly sentimental these days, too.) While we've scoffed
at the notion that the heiress has any substance, we may just eat our
words. Aquarius is the humanitarian sign, and Paris will have plenty
of opportunity to contribute her millions to a cause. We recommend she
put her efforts there now. Headline a charity, like Elizabeth Taylor.
Next year, old demons may resurface (another sex tape?) , so she's best
off avoiding the cameras and red carpets unless it's for a noble, fully-clothed
cause.
Illustrations by Ophira Edut
The Brangelina Bunch: How will the kids get along? (04.07)
Britney gets bald and boozy. What's up? (2.18.07)
Justin Timberlake + Jessica Biel = Seventh Heaven? (2.7.07)
Justin & Cameron: A Scarlett Letter? (1.22.07)
Kate & Owen: A Star-Fated Breakup? (1.7.07)
Jennifer Aniston: When will Jen be loved? (12.25.06)
Britney & Paris: A Toxic Friendship or Not? (12.11.06)
Britney, Katie, Anna Nicole: Sagittarians Get Back to Work! (11.27.06)
Jessica Simpson & John Mayer: Are they REALLY dating? (9.2.06)
Kate Hudson & Owen Wilson: The secret is revealed (9.1.06)
Kate Hudson & Chris Robinson Divorce: A secret scandal will emerge! (8.14.06)