First, the disclaimer: Commitment is not a natural state for the Gemini man. He’s a mutable Air sign, which keeps him in constant flux, happiest in the cooler climate of ideas and intellect, rather than the emotional frying pan. The idea of “forever,” if it doesn’t freak him out, is laughable to Gemini. The only fairy tales he believes in are the ones he writes himself. He watches enough movies to know that just when you think you’ve found happily ever after, the sequel comes out a year later.
Gemini lives in his imagination, and real-world relationships can be a bit too grounding for his sign. Until then, the Gemini man avoids committing by being a little bit committed to everyone and everything. Like Sagittarius, he’s a dilettante who craves variety, and prefers breadth over depth. He might even marry a very practical or maternal type, just so she’ll handle the everyday reality while he retains his boyish freedom.
That’s not to say that Gemini men don’t commit for the long haul, because they do. In fact, this man is capable of becoming the most boring, bathrobe-wearing, remote control clutching cliche of a husband ever. He may marry just to “get it over with.” Once he’s comfortable, he can stay put. The last thing he wants to do is climb the rickety rollercoaster rails of a new relationship all over again. The emotional blowups, the misunderstandings, the soul baring—ugh! He’d rather just put on his favorite sweater and go to the multiplex for the latest action movie, or burrow into a book while you entertain yourself. Sure it’s a snoozefest. But it’s better than being with a needy, attention-hungry Daddy’s girl who distracts him from his dreaming and downloading.
Still, turning into Al Bundy is far from the Gemini man’s dream. He just needs relationships with a single key ingredient: space. He must have distance in order to come closer. His inner Twin needs this contrast, to switch the intimacy button on and off. “I need variety; I don’t want to talk to you all the time,” says John, a Gemini IT specialist. As much as he may seek fame or a public career, the Gemini man needs to slip into the shadows at will, retreating into his own anonymous world to recharge. When he’s not making films, Gemini Johnny Depp lives a private, idyllic life in Southern France with his Capricorn wife and children. These polar extremes are essential to his sanity (a term we use loosely with Geminis).
The Gemini man thrives in a long-distance relationship for that reason. Our Aquarius friend Neda is married to a Gemini who lives almost 6,000 miles away in Iran, while she lives in New York. She met him while producing a documentary film in Tehran called Nobody’s Enemy, about Iran’s first public elections. Yas, her husband, is Iran’s first recorded hip-hop artist. Neda filmed him in the studio reciting his fiery political verses. (Only a Gemini could get away with recording conscious rap under a totalitarian government.) Both passionate about change in their native country, their intellectual chemistry sparked a romantic connection.
Oh, did we mention that Yas is also 12 years young than Neda? Fairy-tale romances with Gemini, should they happen, always have an interesting plot twist—the more unpredictable the better. And feeling like he’s getting away with something could inspire the Gemini man’s adoration. He loves a challenge! “He knew we would get me—he just waited for me to realize it,” Neda recalls of her courtship. “He introduced me to his mom and family without me knowing what he was up to (because I was filming and in work mode). Then when he confessed to me his feelings and I responded positively. He said, ‘Well then, my last question to you is, shall I wait for you?’ I said yes and the next day, it was as if we were a married couple—that comfortable! No guesses, no games.”
Truthfully, Neda may have the better end of the deal. The Gemini man is not always easy to live with. Phone relationships suit him well, since Gemini rules the voice and communication. Before he’s gonna reach out and touch someone, or let his fingers do the walking, he needs to know he can talk to you for hours without getting bored. “Back in college, I knew I was in trouble,” says Gemini Bryan, “when I realized I’d rather talk to my wife-to-be than my girlfriend on the phone.” When he noticed he was putting his hometown honey on hold, he decided to mute the relationship and put his new friend on speed dial. Fourteen years later, they’re still married.
The older he gets, the more the Gemini man needs space—especially once he’s married. Take our friend Amanda’s Gemini dad. Every day after work, he retreats to the bedroom where, Amanda says, “He watches crime shows, reads at least eight books, and drinks a six-pack of Diet Coke. He then eats an entire package of ham, which he wraps around hot dogs and shares with the dog.” Another Gemini man built his personal playroom in the attic, where he surfs the Internet, watches TV shows and downloads video games. The Gemini man absorbs so much information that he gets easily overwhelmed. “A giant Whole Foods makes me anxious,” admits one Gemini. “I like defined spaces. I need to know where I am so I can make an informed decision. Besides, I don’t like to waste time.”
To stay interested for the long haul, the Gemini man needs a mate who’s interested—in all kinds of stuff—and interesting by default. When (and if) things get routine, you need only ask him a smart question or solicit his opinion about something happening in the news. The Gemini man always has an opinion. If he doesn’t, he’s lying or being polite. It just means he thinks your question was inane and not worth dignifying with a thoughtful answer.
As Gemini Clint Eastwood once said, “They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.” Well, he has a point. Doesn’t the Gemini man always? And as long as he sees a point to being with you, he’s not likely to go elsewhere—at least, not unless he sees an equally valid point in that. Oh, brother.
Excerpted from The AstroTwins’ Love Zodiac. Copyright 2008, Tali and Ophira Edut. All rights reserved.
Images via WeHeartIt.