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True Story: I Went To An Astrologer


True Story: I Went to An Astrologer

by Megan Collins

2010 was not a great year for me. My boyfriend and I broke up again/for good, I changed jobs – twice, and found myself generally adrift in a sea of twenty-something malaise. When I mentioned all this (read: whined) to a friend, I was surprised when she didn’t bust out the haagen daaz, or play back her own lemmetellyouaboutmyshittyyear story. No, she referred me to her astrologers. Gotta love New York.

The AstroTwins are Ophira and Tali Edut, a set of identical twin sister astrologers known for their celebrity clients and eerily spot-on forecasts. They chart forecasts for Elle, Lifetime and Sirius X/M, and now, me.

A week before I went to see Ophira (Tali lives on the west coast), I sent them my birth date, time and location so they could chart the location of the planets at the exact moment I was born. This would give them a read on all things megan.

When I got there, Ophira showed me my chart – an indecipherable jumble of connecting lines and symbols in a large sectioned off circle. As it turns out, I’m a Cancer with Pices rising and a Gemini moon. (I took notes – of course – but I’m sure I’m saying all this wrong, so apologies in advance). “Oh, my ex is a Gemini,” I offered. “Is that why we broke up?” I laughed. Nervously. Still looking at the chart, Ophira proceeded to tell me that, well, yes, that’s pretty much exactly why we broke up. She went into detail on the dynamics of our relationship that even our friends and family weren’t privy to. Spooky.

Other traits she nailed about me…in my past life I apparently was quite lucky, but in this one, I have to work harder for things, which I hate because past life-lucky me is thinking, this should be easier! I also excelled in my past life at career and education, and continue that in this one. My friends, society and spirituality houses are empty on the chart, which is actually a good thing. It means I actually have that stuff kind of figured out. What else, what else…I’ll never need to worry about job security, also supported by the evidence – I found a new job the day after I got laid off from an old one), though I won’t make my money til my forties. Somewhat disappointing, but it’s nice to know I’ll be making some at all. Also, my Saturn “returns” in October 2012, at which point my life will re-assume an order it’s been missing since last October. So another year of growing pains before I get my shit figured out. I can handle that.

All in all, the experience wound up feeling like a life coaching session with your best friend since kindergarten. Just by looking at my astral chart, Ophira had an uncanny sense of exactly who I am; from there, we talked about how to achieve my goals while using my strengths and working around my weak spots (hello, ability to relax!)

I highly recommend the twins to anyone who could use some insight into why they are the way they are (and isn’t that all of us?). If nothing else, it’s a great excuse to start working, “Well, my astrologer said…” into daily conversation.

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