Virgo: Wendell the Love Dachshund


Dear Wendell,
Virgo with Leo rising wants information on how to politely ask an Aquarius for romance and affection, instead of being so demanding.  How can I engage my womanly charms, rather than be such an aggressor?

Dear Virgo,
The first step is to recognize the fundamental differences between your zodiac signs. It’s as though you’re a dog and he’s a cat (and having lived with a cat for several years—R.I.P., Bud—I know this requires some adjustment). You’re a sensual earth sign who’s as friendly as a pup, and your Aquarius is an air sign, who’s more mental than physical, and as slippery as a Siamese some days.

Virgos believe there’s a formula for everything: Massage + candlelit dinner = 12 hour makeout session. Unfortunately, that math won’t work on an unpredictable Aquarius. There’s no sign more spontaneous than Aquarius, so all your Virgo planning skills are for naught.

With an Aquarius, you have to engage his mind. His body will follow. Aquarius is the sign of the rebel, so if you wanna catch his attention, shock him by doing something totally unexpected. It’s also the sign of casual connections and friendship. If you get all emotional, he’ll run for the hills. But spend a day doing something buddy-like — or (sadly), act like you don’t care, and he may just tackle you himself.

Lastly, you Virgos  know how neurotic you can be. If you need to talk about it (and you will), process your anxieties with a good friend or a therapist — not with him.