Dating a Scorpio

So you’re dating a Scorpio or want to be. Here’s our guide to navigating first moves, knowing if it’s reciprocal, flirting and memorable date ideas.

Are they staring at you, or at the painting behind your head? If you’re dating a Scorpio, it’s hard to tell.

Sure, you may feel an undercurrent of sexual chemistry rippling through your exchanges, but so does everyone. They like to keep people guessing. Scorpios are affectionate with their closest friends, often in a way that verges on eyebrow-raising inappropriateness. Nobody gives a better full-bodied hug than this sign, and they enjoy risqué banter. You may always wonder whether they’re hitting on you or just making playful conversation.

First moves: How Scorpio woos you

Scorpio is the “detective” sign, and they begin every wooship by studying you from a safe distance. If you have the unsettling sense that somebody’s watching you, you either need to book an appointment with a medium, or a Scorpio is checking you out.

Signs a Scorpio likes you

Here are signals that this mysterious creature might be interested in you. (That said, the line is always blurry with them at first, so don’t get your hopes up too high, just yet.)

  • They pull you away from the crowd into a one-on-one conversation—and you wind up talking for hours
  • They stare at you intensely and smile, making you blush and look away. (Why yes, they are undressing you with their eyes.)
  • Their “do-me” body language: hips loose, crotch subtly pointed at you
  • They invite you to drinks and dinner at their favorite insiders-only spot where you promptly skip the line and go right to a table that’s waiting for you. Scorpio has the hookup!
  • They tell you they have two tickets to a show or event and ask you to join
  • They share a journal entry or highlights from their therapy session
  • They blurt out that they have a crush on you at a completely awkward, inappropriate moment
  • They ask around about you and friends start letting you know that Scorpio was inquiring
  • Their hug lingers longer than a friendly squeeze and you’re in no hurry to let go yourself

Flirting with a Scorpio

Sexy Scorpios love to be admired. They’re total teases who want everyone to want them, even if they have no intention of delivering in return. Just about everything they do counts as flirting. They can’t even pick up dog poop or take cash out of an ATM without making some come-hither gesture. Want to seduce the master of seduction? Here are a few ways to beat them at their own game if you want to be dating a Scorpio.

Talk to them about their passions

Scorpios are always revved up about something—music, art, books, travel—and they love to share. Be sure to interject your own opinions and challenge them a little. Don’t pretend you’re interested just because you want them to ask you out. They won’t. They’ll just talk you to death.

Name drop

We used to joke that Scorpio’s sexual orientation is “celebrity.” Quietly ambitious, they’re always angling for a seat at the big, mahogany executive table. Know a famous artist or sports figure? Got box seats to the playoffs or a regular table in the VIP section? Mention it like it’s no big deal, and you’ll have their attention. Hint that they could possibly join you in the future, or that you might introduce them to one of your high-profile contacts. Leave them subtly feeling like they’re not quite good enough to make it past the velvet rope. They’ll ask you out tomorrow. 

Talk to them about your passions—with extreme passion

What do you love? What makes you leap out of bed in the morning? It doesn’t matter what you’re into, if you love it unabashedly and aren’t afraid to say so. Scorpio wants a soulmate, so show them your soul.

Lock eyes

Scorpio’s penetrating gaze is both unsettling and thrilling. The minute they pin you to the wall with an intense look, the sexy power play begins. Do you have the guts to stare right back? Attraction and power dynamics go hand-in-hand for them. Match their penetrating gaze with a confident, equally intense look.

Be the rock star in the room

Although they may act low-key, inside they consider themselves to be the crème de la creme, entitled to the best. Make them clamor for an autograph.

Touch them

Scorpios are incredibly physical, but they can be shy about breaking the touch barrier. Believe it or not, they’re terrified of rejection. A gentle but firm touch, a hug, or an accidental brush of your body signals that you’re safe. From there, it’s all systems go.

Dating a Scorpio: Seduction is an art form

An intense attraction is the essential first ingredient to igniting romance with a Scorpio. As the famed sex symbols of the zodiac, they have turned seduction into an art form. They’ll gaze into their date’s eyes while speaking passionately about something, anything…and suddenly, the room has gotten very, very hot. Conversation is more than stimulating for Scorpios. It’s a pure aphrodisiac, whether they’re standing in the middle of a public place or nestled in a private corner of their favorite hole-in-the-wall bar.

Scorpios love the nightlife

They’re at their best when the sun goes down. Dress in something slinky and black and meet them at an ambient restaurant where the food is spicy and the people are beautiful. Music and dancing are huge in their world. Let Scorpios flaunt their knowledge of obscure bands, then suggest they pick up two tickets to an indie concert. They have a knack for finding hidden gems, like a rollicking after hours jazz club or a speakeasy with a vintage cocktail menu. They might meet you a burlesque show or even a good old-fashioned strip club. Who knows? This might be the perfect opportunity to show off a couple moves from their pole-dancing classes.

Bottom line: Scorpios like to be in control

You are definitely being tested during your date. Slowly, they will invite you into selective parts of their life: their favorite restaurant, bar, place to hang out with friends, and eventually their home. They’re looking to see how well someone will fit in with their carefully curated life and if you understand what makes them tick. One condescending remark and it might just be curtains for a hopeful suitor. Scorpios fear rejection more than any other sign, and they need a mate who is fascinated by them, and also supportive and encouraging.

What to do on a date with a Scorpio

  • Visit their favorite restaurant, their favorite bar, their favorite club, their favorite anything––they like to show off their great taste
  • Check out an indie concert or music festival
  • Go to a restaurant overlooking a lake or ocean
  • Spend a day at the beach together swimming, surfing or learning to sail
  • Sample wines at a vineyard
  • Start a band together or belt out tunes at karaoke
  • Cook a gourmet meal together and co-host an ultimate dinner party

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Identical twin sisters Ophira and Tali Edut, known as The AstroTwins, are the founders of and the authors of multiple bestselling astrology books. Their horoscopes reach millions here and through their resident astrologer column at ELLE Magazine.