In partnership with BetterHelp
Have you been feeling a little boundary-challenged lately? Blame it on Saturn. Seriously!
On March 7, 2023, the planetary boundary hound embarked on a three-year trek through Pisces, the zodiac sign known for dissolving boundaries altogether. Are you seeing the dissonance here?
Saturn can be a harsh teacher, but its lessons are generally right on time. We’re all still finding out way back to “normal interactivity” after the pandemic forced quarantine-level boundaries upon us all. As challenging as it was to be apart from our communities, we learned a very Saturnian lesson: That our time and personal space is precious.
But conveying that to others can be challenging, especially if you’re a caring soul, an empath or someone who wants to be a good friend. Recently, we sat down with BetterHelp therapist Courtney Cope to talk about healthy ways to set boundaries.
Courtney calls boundaries “the protectors of our peace and the protectors of our sanity.” She helps her clients gain facility with honoring their needs and setting boundaries so that their relationships can remain healthy. Less canceling, more self-validation!
She also breaks down the difference between brunch talk with supportive friends and the kind of objective listening a therapist provides, which is quite different. Watch the video here and discover how to be a “compassionate witness” for friends in need—it’s a lot easier than taking on their struggle as your own!
And since we love to astrologize everything, we wrote some zodiac-friendly scripts to help build that boundary-setting muscle. It begins by giving YOURSELF permission to be who you are, then working with your natural proclivities. Practice really does make perfect here, so if at first you crumble to pressure, try, try again.
Boundary setting for every zodiac sign
Fire Signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius)
Boundary Issue: You have FOMO so you don’t want to miss out on an opportunity by setting a boundary, then you overpromise and don’t come through.
“Every cell in my body wants to say yes, but I have to make sure it fits my schedule.”
“I’d really love to but I can’t commit right now. How soon do you need a final answer?”
“Can you send me more information that I can share with my team?”
Earth Signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn)
Boundary Issue: Sometimes you begin with rigid rules before you get to know people, which can block you from forming trust and intimacy. Are those boundaries or barriers?
“How great! I’ll definitely consider that. Can you tell more about the guest list, dress code, preparation?”
“Can you give me some times, dates and details and I’ll check my schedule?”
“I’d love to help with that but I don’t have the capacity right now. Can I recommend a great resource I’ve used?”
Air Signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius)
Boundary Issue: You make fast friends with people but sometime realize that you’ve gotten too close too soon and need to pull back.
“That way won’t work but is there another way that could?”
“That sounds really exciting. I’d like to do a little more research on that.”
“I’d love to say yes, but I need to check my schedule first.”
Water Signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces)
Boundary Issue: Your empathic ways can lead you to take responsibility for other people’s emotions, which turns into people-pleasing and not saying no.
“That’s not something I’ve ever tried before, but I’m open to exploring.”
“I’m very sensitive to my surroundings and I like to prepare. Can you tell me more about who will be there and what the energy will be like?”
“I’d love to help you but I’m not going to be able to this time. Can I point you in the direction of support?”
Want to try therapy or find an online therapist?
Get 20% off your first month of therapy from BetterHelp, the world’s largest professional online therapy platform.
Join over 3.5 Million others on BetterHelp and get 20% off your first month (up to $60 in savings).
Getting started is easy: take the quiz and get matched with a therapist in as little as 48 hours. No more waiting weeks or even months to find someone to talk to. Your monthly BetterHelp subscription will include one weekly live therapy session via video, phone, or live chat. You also get messaging, access to group webinars, journaling tools, worksheets and more.