An Ode to Mercury Retrograde from Our Poet Laureate

We are regularly delighted by one of our readers, U.K. performance poet Myke Kofi, who writes us the most stunning verses inspired by our horoscopes. Talk about flattering! So we asked Myke to share his latest for Mercury retrograde in the slow-and-steady star sign Taurus, to offer lyrical cosmic insight to this notoriously stubborn starmap. Who ever thought that one of the most hair-raising planetary transits could inspire an ode?

Please join us in savoring this delightful piece from Astrostyle’s officially anointed poet laureate—a paean to the pain of Mercury that is both a blessing and a curse to us all. If only we could hear him reciting this aloud!


Renegade master: back once again?

Rebrand, seize the day. Cherish the good when negatives hold sway.

Recalibrate the unbalanced equilibrium,

Re-embrace Taurean tedium.!

Reduce, reuse and recycle. Stop mercurial waste poisoning ammoniacle.

Reflect and reform. Turn down the obsolete; dreams outworn.

Reflex the Duran tunes; reflux acid indigestion. Eek like a magpie, regurgitate!

Remember Grandma’s soul food recipes?

Rescue the remedy. Sympathy and hot tea.

Rehash the deets of that contract; signed with undue haste matter-of-fact.

Reinstate order in disharmony. Reiterate. Repeat.

Rejig your juggle; relent from the struggle. Surrender.

Release, relinquish. Alkalinize juices; eat greener dishes.

Relate to your mate. Regulate online illusion that there’s plenty of fish.

Rekorderlig® cider anyone? In Reykjavik! Revering the Revenant.

Remove the obstacles stubbornly blocking progress.

Repair the hemline of that f*** me wedding dress.

Reconvene the collective; reappraising Rembrandt’s retrospective.

Renovate the bathroom, kitchen and the hall.

Reframe the Warhol holding up the wall.

Revisit vintage treasure troves; bargain-hunt luxe detective.

Really? Beware waving red flag to a bull!

Beware Sansa Stark; scripted for revenge.

Reconsider her offer staking-out Stonehenge.

Re-platform the shoes; Carwash the ’fro

Reprise Manhattan Transfer; dance real slow. Slower still.

Restructure stinking thinking

Rethink your media; delete obscenities peppering Wikipedia.

Alas, a Requiem for the Prince, eternally purpled Reign.

Thank you for the memories; psychedelic refrains.

Recharge device batteries, overstimulated Aries.

Replay the power ballads like, uh, Mariah Carey’s…

Reclaim your vocal power; reclaim serenity.

Hello! Adele/Lionel Ritchie [delete as required];

Hello! blindfolded hot toddy — replenishing cocoa butter all over weary body.

Slow; slower still. Slow.

Revlon® anyone “Choose Love

Revamp, revalidate, revitalize.

‘cause when Mercury retro’s finally done



About Myke: Myke is an emerging poet, yoga and karaoke enthusiast based in the “Heart” of England, UK. He is fascinated by the signs and symbolism, recurrent themes and motifs offered us by the astrological realms.

On encountering their website through serendipity and synchronicity in 2013, The Astro Twins and team are the inspiration for “Mercury-retrograde-Gemini”, the poem featuring lots of words beginning with “Re.”

Follow Myke on Twitter @Myko Yeboh and his blog

Image by Bing via Tumblr


The AstroTwins

Identical twin sisters Ophira and Tali Edut, known as The AstroTwins, are the founders of and the authors of multiple bestselling astrology books. Their horoscopes reach millions here and through their resident astrologer column at ELLE Magazine.