When you link up with a Capricorn man for the long haul, it’s not just to live happily ever after. It’s to raise a family, make his ancestors proud, create a legacy, and pass on wisdom to the next generation. No pressure or anything.

The Capricorn man wants a relationship that’s built to last. He’ll take pains to make sure you’re a solid bet, and the evaluation process could be lengthy. He prefers to meet people through trusted sources like family or friends, or at a comfortable hangout where he doesn’t feel awkward and out of place. To Capricorn, relationships are an obligation he takes very seriously. He doesn’t commit to anyone unless he knows he can give it his all. Sure, he may go through the boyfriend motions, but he’ll usually back out before it goes too far.

What’s the big deal, you may wonder. Don’t those vows include “for better and for worse”? Besides, you’re a modern woman who doesn’t care if she out-earns her man. It’s all about love. Superwoman doesn’t need Superman. It’s okay if he’s Clark Kent—or hey, how about Louis Lane?

Not gonna happen. The Capricorn man’s worst nightmare goes something like this: You arrive at a party with your Capricorn hubby Rob, and the hostess steers you into the living room for introductions. “Everyone, this is Amy. She’s an amazing trial lawyer who’s just made partner at her firm, and she’s running for city council! Oh, and this is her husband Rob. He’s been working odd jobs for the last ten years, while dreaming up how to make his millions. Amy pays the mortgage in the meanwhile, but we know that’s just a short-term thing—right? Everyone, say hello to Amy and Rob!”

The Goat is stubborn. Many Capricorn men wait until well into their 40s to settle down. He won’t marry until he’s reached a few of his major milestones: traveling Latin America, becoming a board-certified surgeon, selling his first business. A firm footing on his chosen life path gives him the confidence to commit.

Capricorn is the zodiac’s patriarch, and he’s a proud papa to his brood. The Capricorn man is a bit like a soldier: dutiful, hardworking and best when he has a country or family to serve. Becoming a father is like being elevated from private to four-star general. He now has troops to direct, missions to launch, and something bigger than himself to build. Family is the ultimate undertaking for him, and he’s a consummate project manager, and may even rule his with an iron fist if necessary.

Of course, should he become a father before he’s ready, this could be a different story. The unestablished Capricorn can be a total deadbeat dad. His sign can only focus on one thing at a time, and he doesn’t do well when life happens out of sequence. In his mind, the path goes: love, financial security, marriage, kids. When an unscheduled pregnancy messes with the master plan, he’s forced to juggle his duties, something he’s not very good at. To Capricorn, not being able to provide for his kids is the ultimate shame. This is the father who may be estranged from his children until much later in life, when he’s found the wisdom and direction to face them with dignity.

Okay, now for the warning label. This is sticky territory that we hate to cover, but feel we must. If you want a working relationship with Capricorn, ask yourself: How willing am I to be submissive? There will be compromises and power dynamics to navigate. If you’re a go-getter who accomplishes goals at the speed of sound, take extra care that he doesn’t feel left behind. Should you be more established than your Cap, you’ll need to bolster his ego (without being obvious) and let him build his own empire, at his own ambling pace. Excruciating patience is a must.

Hard as this is to swallow, you’ll need to carve out areas where he gets to be dominant. It may be the bedroom, or choosing where you live, or tolerating his boys’ nights out without interrogating him for details. Can you live with that? Our feminist principles recoil at the notion, but we also know that love comes with its own set of rules. Sometimes, a powerhouse diva just craves the arms of a big, strong man. Early childhood patterns figure in, too. As the zodiac’s father sign, the Capricorn man appeals to an only child, a daddy’s girl, or the daughter of an absentee/difficult father. You could either work out those issues with a therapist, or with him.

Should you find yourself on such Freudian turf, be careful. The allure of this daddy-daughter dynamic can find you willingly handing over your power, making too many compromises to keep him. He can become a real tyrant if you open that door. Take care not to muffle your voice or strength with Capricorn. Pave the road for equality early with this guy unless you want to create your own personal Mussolini. Decide where you’re okay letting him rule the roost, and stand firm in your boundaries everywhere else. Guard your “sacred space.” Try this visualization: imagine drawing a line of demarcation, and planting your body firmly on that border like an impervious iron wall that nobody—not even your Cap—can penetrate. He may not like it, but you’ll win his respect, which is ultimately one of the most important cornerstones for long-term love with a Capricorn.

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