An Ode to Mercury Retrograde in Capricorn from Our Poet Laureate

We are regularly delighted by one of our readers, U.K. performance poet Myke Kofi, who writes us the most stunning verses inspired by our horoscopes. Talk about flattering! So we asked Myke to share his latest for Mercury retrograde, to offer lyrical cosmic insight to this notoriously stubborn starmap.

Since December 19, the messenger planet has been backspinning through the ambitious and persistent star sign Capricorn. But on January 4, Mercury backs into outspoken Sagittarius for the remainder of its cycle before powering forward into direct motion on the 8th. Phew! Who would have ever thought that one of the most hair-raising planetary transits could inspire a planetary ode to joy?

As we prepare to bid Mercury retrograde adieu, please join us in savoring this delightful piece from Astrostyle’s officially anointed Poet Laureate—a paean to the pain of Mercury that is both a blessing and a curse to us all.

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Another cosmic rewind. Endless slow-mo days.

The real world in flux. Travel update: Expect delays.

Reflect and review. Time to reevaluate.

Repeat the mantra #Love Trumps hate.

Rethink, reschedule. Reconsider, restructure.

Re-breathe Zen peace before blood veins rupture.

Rework the meaning; recheck the context.

Reallocate resources; re-prioritize tasks to be done next. 

Relive some happy memories; replay melodic Bowie tunes.

Review the scopes. Recast the Tarot. Reread the runes.


Oh Mercury! Cosmic master/mistress of duality.

Re-blurring heavenly boundaries; surreal virtual reality.

Alas, the simplest messages. Shakespeare-like. So easily misconstrued.

Resist sending, ugh, “graphic lurid” tweets. Reclassify as “category lewd”!

Mercury retrograde Capricorn:

Rogue one renegades;

Re-honoring (s)heroes overdue victory parades.

Reunions; reforming future election rolls. 

Shame on you trickster pollsters.

Recondition, retrofit; renovate, reupholster.

Re-economize gig taxation. Readjust for post-Brexit inflation.  

Reassess all receipts. Pay dues for landfill reclamation.

How about we Astro-peeps, re-engineer Mother Earth’s regeneration?

Rehabilitate repeat offenders; reject costly recidivism.

Restore justice; rescind injustice! 

Revoke the death penalty! Release the wrongly imprisoned.

Reassemble recluses; recalcitrant refuseniks. 

Reiterate. Repeat. Oh sweet Reet petite.

Mercury retrograde Capricorn:

Steadfast and sure-footed; like the Bethlehem donkey.

Reliable and dependable unlike the capricious monkey!

A time to go slow and steady; like the Kashmir mountain-goat.

Rewrite the bucket list; in whichever way floats your boat.

Forget your brand of retribution; serving ice-cold revenge.

Retrogrades. Surely, a time to forgive? A time to make amends?

Relinquish control for post-Truth


Constant daily horrors; senseless global terrors 

could render humanity to feel forlorn;

Review your personal cyber-security!” 

Re-instructs “El Capitain” 

Mercury retrograde Capricorn.

(c) Myke Kofi 2016


Image via Tumblr

About Myke: Myke is an emerging poet, yoga and karaoke enthusiast based in the “Heart” of England, UK. He is fascinated by the signs and symbolism, recurrent themes and motifs offered us by the astrological realms.

On encountering their website through serendipity and synchronicity in 2013, The Astro Twins and team are the inspiration for “Mercury-retrograde-Gemini”, the poem featuring lots of words beginning with “Re.”

Follow Myke on Twitter @Myko Yeboh and his blog

2017 is upon us, and we have guidance for every sign—life, love, money, career, health & more! Our 2017 Planetary Planner has the complete 2017 astrology forecast for your Sun sign. Order yours now!

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The AstroTwins

Identical twin sisters Ophira and Tali Edut, known as The AstroTwins, are the founders of and the authors of multiple bestselling astrology books. Their horoscopes reach millions here and through their resident astrologer column at ELLE Magazine.