I*AM In Love: Give Your Relationships The Astrology Advantage

Who you love is ultimately up to you. We’re not here to make that choice for you. Our job as astrologers is to inform you how each of the three I*AM archetypes ticks, to arm you with quality intel to make your choices. Now let’s bring the I*AM types together to make I*AM in love magic!

As astrologers, we’ve been fielding relationship questions for decades. People, it turns out, are truly confounded by each other, especially when they enter a new relationship. They want insight into their would-be or current partners: Why do they talk, think, and act that way? What turns them on (or off) and makes them tick? And (always) the big one: Are we compatible?

Our belief is: while certain astrological matches can be smoother than others, easy doesn’t necessarily equal better. The person who lovingly challenges us most can bring us the gift of growth. In our opinion, human beings don’t incarnate just to be stagnant or live blissfully unexamined lives. That said, we aren’t here to suffer, either. Which begs another common relationship question that we hope our book, The Astrology Advantage (Simon Element, 2024), can help elucidate: What is the purpose of relationships anyway?

The Astrology Advantage

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The Purpose of Relationships: I*AM in Love

Each I*AM archetype answers this “what is the purpose of relationships?” differently. Sometimes, we can spell it out clearly: I want to have three kids, raise them near my family, and homeschool them. In other cases, it’s a feeling-state we’re after: I just want to be with someone who never stops making me laugh and is strong enough to call me on my crap!

Who you love and how you love is ultimately up to you. We’re not here to make that choice for you. Our job as astrologers is to inform you how each of the three I*AM archetypes ticks, to arm you with quality intel so you can ask yourself: “Are these the traits I want in a partner? Will this be enough for me?”

So often, people are either doing the wrong thing with the right person—or the right thing with the wrong person. Love requires us to release control, which is the hardest thing for almost every human to do.

The I*AM of Relationships

The Innovator becomes THE IDEALIST with a core desire to unite as a power couple.
The Authority becomes THE ATTACHER with a core desire to build a stable life together.
The Maven becomes THE MIRROR with a core desire to find a lifelong playmate.

The Innovator in Love: The Idealist

Core desire: To unite as a power couple

Relationship strengths: Inspiring partners

When in love: Innovators become idealists who see a grand vision for every relationship—and they’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that unfolds. With their quest for novelty, Innovators make exciting mates!

Relationship challenges: Hard to pin down. Innovators hold a high bar for relationships, but some days, their idealism gets exhausting, especially when partners just want to relax and be in the moment. The Innovator’s go-go-go lifestyle can take them away from home a lot, causing their intimate connections to suffer from neglect or inconsistency.

The Authority in Love: The Attacher

Core desire: To build a stable life together

Relationship strengths: Loyal and consistent

When in love: Authorities are the attachers—steadfast, loyal partners who make the effort to create an enduring bond. Daily rituals are their relationship superglue—and creating these are the Authority’s stock-in-trade.

Relationship challenges: Stuck on security. Devoted Authorities are reliable, but what happens when a partner wants to go off script? The natural pivots that arise in relationships can be hard for the change-averse Authority, spinning up conflict with their mates and even causing partners to act out and rebel.

The Maven in Love: The Mirror

Core desire: To find a lifelong playmate

Relationship strengths: Lifelong playmates

When in love: The Maven becomes the mirror, seeking a soul twin and a best friend who can reflect their best parts back to them. They love to cheer their partners on, helping them glimpse their own greatness.

Relationship challenges: Energy bomb. While Mavens excel at bringing joy and excitement to their relationships, they can also be easily thrown off by minor provocations. They may struggle with emotional regulation and need space to unload their thoughts and frustrations regularly.

Want more I*AM in Love?

I*AM in love is explored deeply in our book, including what it’s like dating and being in a relationship with each I*AM archetype (what to expect and what not to expect!). This article is just an overview of what you can uncover.

The Astrology Advantage is Atomic Habits meets The Wisdom of the Enneagram, based in the science and system of astrology. The book publishes in August 2024 but can be preordered today.