Let’s start with a disclaimer: you might not like what you hear. Or, you might just shout “finally!” The Aries man has a very specific, grand and demanding vision for his ultimate relationship. In life, he orders everything customized to his tastes, and those tastes are very particular. He may not subconsciously realize that human beings, imbued with things like personalities and free will, can’t conform to his fantasies on demand. He’d rather just find that “needle in the haystack” relationship, the impossible dream come true. When he finds that, he gives it every ounce of his being. He turns off the selfish switch and pours on the giving. So why would he do that for just anyone?
The Aries man is great at either having lots of sex with lots of different people, or being completed devoted to one woman. Nothing in between. He’s too impatient to master the finer points of courtship. It doesn’t even occur to him. The Aries man is endearingly authentic to a fault. Even if he’s dating multiple women when you meet, he’ll just tell you outright. Although it may seem crude, his open-book policy can actually create a space of greater trust.
Besides, it’s not like Aries thinks relationships are the be-all end-all of life. He gets restless, itchy for the next adventure. His eyes rove, his imagination wanders. Isn’t there another damsel to save somewhere? Another sexual position he hasn’t tried? He knows his desires may be more than one woman can supply—and he’s not above shopping at a few different stores to complete his sexual grocery list. To this independent sign, bachelorhood is a cherished prize. It’s his ticket to freedom, adventure, unlimited expression—his access to feeling truly alive. He’ll never trade it in unless he truly believes a relationship will provide all those treasures and more.
What he needs is sort of contradictory: a relationship that gives him ultimate security and full freedom to roam. The Aries man is deeply driven by a fear of abandonment, so that should never be an issue between you. Once that’s secured, he feels safe to spread his arms wide and pull life to him. He wants to live life like it’s a huge playground—more like a carnival fairground—where he can wander, explore, win you stuffed animals, and enjoy a freak show or two. On Coney Island, reality is suspended. There’s a different set of rules, or perhaps none at all, which is perfect because that means he gets to make them. We can’t help but mention Aries Hugh Hefner again, who lives at the Playboy Mansion surrounded by half-naked centerfold models all day. Who cares if nobody else lives that way? That only makes it more appealing for Aries.
If you want to be with Aries for the long haul, you’ll have to embrace his chosen lifestyle. Does that mean he wants everything on his terms? Well, everything that matters to him. We know tons of Aries men who are in long-term relationships, even married, but live in separate homes from their partners. Some even have open relationships, or some need that requires an “understanding” between you. One bi-curious Aries man agreed to marry his longtime girlfriend, but she had to allow him to have one “boys’ night” where he cuddled or made out with a man. How she put up with it, we don’t know—in this case, he threw a fit and threatened to walk unless he got his way. She decided to put up or shut up. If what’s good for the Aries goose ain’t good for the gander, he’d sooner fly away than change his migratory habits.
The Aries man is a natural leader, so if he does want kids, he takes great pride in being “head of the household.” There’s a tinge of chest-beating chauvinism to this, a sense that you could be cast into the roles of traditional, Leave It To Beaver-era husband and wife. Of course, you’ll never sleep in separate twin beds like the Cleavers. Mostly it will all be for show, another part of the peacock you’ll have to deal with. Even if you don’t have kids, there will always be a very important third “member” of your household: his penis, that is. The Aries man is incredibly proud and fascinated of everything his can do. And you’d better be, too. There’s usually plenty to appreciate there, anyhow. It will be obvious when you meet him that he knows that.
When the Aries man loves, he holds on tight. This can make him a tyrant who runs his home like a four-star general. He wants his kids to be successful and will hold them to high standards—though he spoils them ridiculously, too. This won’t always be an easy relationship. There could be episodes of screaming, tears, hurled objects and slammed doors with your warrior prince. He can take you to the edge of a mental breakdown. But as our Aries uncle Sami once said, “If you can’t fight with someone, you can’t love them.” For every shattered wine glass or hyperventilating meltdown, there will be passionate sex, unparalleled intimacy and devotion so powerful it takes your breath away. Together, you’ll write this unforgettable love story with blood, sweat and tears—every drop that’s in you.
Excerpted from The AstroTwins’ Love Zodiac. Copyright 2008, Tali and Ophira Edut. All rights reserved.