We’re regularly delighted by one of our readers, U.K. performance poet Myke Kofi, who writes the most stunning verses inspired by our horoscopes. Talk about flattering! Here Myke shares his lyrical cosmic insight on the Year of the Earth Pig, an ode dedicated to our embattled humanity.
Earth Pig/Wild Boar Ode 2019
[oinking & squealing]
Ode to the Earth Pig, fierce wild boars;
Escape last year’s doghouse ‘cause
Jupiter in Sag says let’s venture on tour!
Scanning new horizons, triangulate fixed stars with your astrolabe;
Channel Peppa Pig & Miss Piggy oinking, squealing: Hello, Babe!
Feng shui-ing teenage pigsties? Transform the space palatial;
With out-of-the-box thinking, reinventing your palace spatial.
This Chinese New Year: perhaps a throwback to 1959
Bay of Pigs anyone? Fancy pork scratchings and oink, pig will whine!
Pig’s bladders, pig’s blood; pig farming stories galore;
Pigs in wigs and fierce battles about territorial wild boars.
Wild boars have animal rights–so why we treat ‘em so abdominal?
Let’s gather and talk, a social time to be in the real world communal.
Earth signs: a stellar year for hogging the limelight
Giddily, higgedly-piggedly like new Love at first sight.
Air signs: dreaming on and endlessly sighing
For that momentous day when pigs might be flying!
An industrious year rebuilding your piggy-bank
Sweating Betty, rolling-up sleeves, unstoppable tank.
New-born pigs, moon pigs and savoury pigs-in-blankets
Adopt-a-pig and call it something like Hilary Swanket.
How do you like your pig meat: religiously halal or strictly kosher?
Vegan sausage rolls disrupting long-held notions.
Rethinking what it means: bringing home the bacon
Does Love you give match the Love you’ve been taking?
What’s mine is yours, and your is mine
But damn you! Casting pearls before swine!
Let’s embrace pregnant pauses; no reasons, just because…
Street people on the catwalks: reinvented pigtails and three little piglets
Spring fever’s breaking news: very special deliveries of IVF triplets!!!
And perhaps radical cures for skin depigmentation
Uranus in Taurus induces piggish celebrations.
Seek prophylaxis before swine flu’s re-emergence;
Jupe in Sag sanctions being a little bit decadent.
A year to indulge in much-needed fun, fun, fun!
Don’t feel guilty oinking a greedy pig’s “nice buns”.
Adios! Ditch the plastic and monotype Barbie dolls
Control-alt-delete pig-headed, fascist trolls.
Alas! If you’re caught playing piggy-in-the middle
Celebrity Love triangles, Neptune’s fantasy threesomes;
Let’s make this Earth Pig year kinder and awesome!
© Myke Kofi 2019 for AstroStyle.com